


30 seconds, or doppelgangers and magic markers

by GoddessEris00



Series: Doppelgang-island [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-16
Updated: 2011-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessEris00/pseuds/GoddessEris00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is not acting like Steve, and Danny more than notices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 seconds, or doppelgangers and magic markers

It took Danny 30 seconds to realize that something was wrong with Steve on Monday morning. Namely, the 30 seconds in which Steve walked by him with a polite good morning, failing entirely to notice or comment on Danny’s brand new tie. The tie that Grace had bought him, the tie that was bright blue with pineapples on it, the tie that should have garnered some sort of reaction from McGarrett for god’s sake! Pineapples! The symbol of Danny’s hatred for Hawaii! And a tie! The symbol of Steve’s hatred for protocol! Danny had only worn the damn thing in public because 1) he loved his Gracie even though her sense of humor was a little wicked for a seven year old, and 2) he wanted to see which face Steve would flash; the wincing aneurism face for the tie, or that goofy “you like it here, Danny, admit it” face for the fruit. Instead, he got nothing.

Sure, it was more than a little infantile to wear something almost solely to get a rise out of his partner—a behavior entirely too reminiscent of pulling the pigtails of a childhood crush, a thought Danny was not willing to pursue at this time—but that was the kind of relationship they had. And Steve’s lack of reaction, as inconsequential as it might seem to anyone else, to Danny was worrisome.

So he stepped up his game, barging loudly into Steve’s office, only to find the man deeply invested in… filing?

“Danny,” said Steve. “Can I help you with something?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” exclaimed Danny.

Steve blinked a couple of times, and if Danny wanted to name his current facial expression it would be something like “non-face face” because of how hard Steve was trying to hide what he was thinking. Or worse, because Danny could suddenly no longer read his partner’s expression.

“I’m just catching up on some paperwork,” said new bland Steve.

“You’re catching up on paperwork? YOU’RE catching up on paperwork?! How do you even have—I do all the paperwork! And, if memory serves me, I did it already. That case from last week, that gun runner you ran off the road? On purpose? I already crossed the t’s and dotted the i’s in triplicate so that you, my friend, keep your badge and therefore retain the opportunity to violate the rights of criminals on this island. So what paperwork, exactly, are you catching up on? Enlighten me, please,” said Danny. “I would love to hear this.”

“Jesus, Williams, it’s just some old files I found that were out of place. I figured, since we’re not busy right now, I’d put them away. I’ll be sure to ask you if I need any help, though.”

Steve turned his attention back to the papers in his hand and Danny was effectively dismissed.

*~*~*

“Dismissed, can you believe it? Like I’m some minor annoyance that he can’t even be bothered to deal with!”

Chin and Kono exchanged glances. It was barely after eight, and Danny was already in fine form. He had cornered them both in the break room upon their arrival in the office, and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. Especially since the guy who was usually willing and able to take on a ranting Danny was apparently the source of the problem.

“C’mon brah, maybe he’s just tired,” said Kono, her tone of voice suggesting that Steve was not the only one.

“Tired? Tired, she says. Like we haven’t seen that man work for 10 days straight, and still have time to send me into cardiac arrest with his driving. I’m supposed to believe that Mr. “I am an unstoppable force with no sense of self-preservation” is too tired to give me the courtesy of five minutes of his time. No, no. Something isn’t right here. That Steve is not my Steve.”

Danny paused in his flailing and ranting for a moment to rewind what he just said. “I mean, not our Steve. Ours. Um… he’s off his meds or possessed or he’s a pod person or something.”

Sensing the obvious disbelief in the room, and also catching Kono mouth “my” at a smirking Chin, finally had him backing off, leaving the room with a muttered: “Whatever, I’ll figure it out.”

He did not. No cases came in, and Steve stayed alone in his office the whole day. Filing! By the time five o'clock rolled around, even Chin and Kono were beginning to get a little concerned. They had all attempted to interact with Steve throughout the day, only to get that same kind of polite but firm dismissal that had infuriated Danny. Still, they refused to admit to Danny that he had cause for concern.

"Relax, Danny." said Chin. "Steve's having an off day, but he'll be back to normal tomorrow. You'll see."

“Pod person,” repeated Danny emphatically as the three headed out.

On Tuesday it got worse. A call came in early, nothing earth-shattering by 5-0 standards, but Danny found himself out on the streets with Steve (or Pod!Steve, as Danny had taken to calling him in his head). Pod!Steve got points for insisting on driving, but he stayed within 10 miles of the speed limit, signaled when turning, and didn’t mess with the radio. Even more telling, the easy camaraderie (and damn it, it was camaraderie, even when it mostly consisted of yelling) was completely gone.

The final straw came after Danny and Steve had located a lead and chased him down on foot (because of course he ran, because he was young and stupid and probably high with no idea that all they wanted to do was talk to him), and dragged him back to the car. Danny, who had the guy pinned to the hood, was preparing to cuff him when Steve said: “All right, Danny. Read him his rights.”

Fuck. _Fuck!_ It had been possible that Steve was just totally messing with him, but there was no way Danny could let this go. No “book ‘em?” No “Danno?” No. Way.

Danny sighed, leaned hard against the teen's back like he was still trying to get him under control, and whispered, “When I let go, you RUN.” He then proceeded to fall back, releasing the suspect as he clutched at his knee and let out what he hoped sounded like a genuine shout of pain.

“Shit, Steve, my knee just went out! Grab the kid, he’s getting away.” Danny had no illusions of winning an Academy Award but the kid, not having needed to be told twice, was indeed getting away, with Pod!Steve in hot pursuit.

“My Steve runs faster than that,” muttered Danny as he stood up and hurried to the car, sliding into the driver’s seat and tearing out of there without a backwards glance.

*~*~*

For all his yelling and posturing, and even though he had actually taken off and left Steve (Pod!Steve) chasing some punk without backup, Danny still didn’t know what to expect when he broke into Steve's house. Certainly not another Steve, bound and gagged and beaten in the bathroom of Steve’s house. Even as his body moved forward and his hands reached for the knots and the most ridiculous soothing statements came out of his mouth, in his head Danny was screaming _you have got to be kidding me there are actually pod people in fucking Hawaii and what the hell does this mean and what are we going to fucking DO if we’ve got evil doubles running around, okay mostly being bland and actually not that threatening except that somebody did a number on Steve here and is he okay, are you_ at which point his mind came somewhat back in line with his mouth “okay, babe. Are you okay?” he murmured as he pulled the ropes away. Danny noted almost absently that Steve had actually been tied to the toilet itself and with his pants down no less, which was either highly depraved or incredibly practical on the part of Pod!Steve, and will definitely embarrass Danny later when he has time to process. More important was that Steve was now groaning and opening his eyes, and saying "Danny? Danny? Danno?" in a cracked, worried voice but it was Steve talking and that's what mattered.

"Yeah, buddy, Danno's here, it's really me," which didn’t make much sense because Danny was not the one with a doppelganger running around town. Still, it seemed to reassure Steve who clutched at his arm and said: "I had to tell him... had to tell him things that were true, too. Driving, you know? But not Danno."

And scarily Danny did understand what Steve was trying to say, even if he had no clue as to why there was a Pod!Steve running around that had to be fooled to start with. The sad truth is that knowing what Steve means or what Steve is thinking or what his facial tics might indicate had morphed over time from a basic survival need (like remembering to put on a bulletproof vest) to obsessive hobby for Danny. From the beginning they had an uncanny connection, but it was only recently that Danny had realized that the connection was not only present, but also vital to his own well-being. That is why Pod!Steve’s new and atypical behavior had been so off-putting and _obvious_ to him.

He had gotten Steve more or less straightened out now (fully clothed, at least) and given him some water using the cup on the vanity and ascertained that his partner was mostly stiff and dehydrated with some painful bumps and bruises. But as much as he would like to pour over the bumps and bruises and cuts, staying here was not a good idea. Pod!Steve would be an idiot to not be suspicious after Danny's earlier dive and dash.

*~*~*

The drive back to Danny's apartment was uneventful-- it was not much of a hideout but would hopefully buy them some time. Danny was now pacing as Steve took a quick, hot shower. He was worrying about Chin and Kono; they needed to be warned—but of what? How was he supposed to explain that the pod person joke was no longer a joke and not tip off Pod!Steve at the same time?

He hadn’t noticed the water cut off but the low murmur of conversation coming from his room caught Danny's attention. He moved closer to the door in time to hear Steve say: "Yes, sir. Crystal clear, sir." He paused briefly, but hearing only a muffled thud (the cell phone hitting the bed, maybe?) he pushed the door open and walked in. It was his room, in any case, and if Steve is ready enough to be making top secret phone calls, he's ready for a face-to-face with Danny. The fact that he was still only wearing a towel slung low around his hips was really just a bonus.

"Knock much, Danny?" griped Steve, though he made no move to tighten his impromptu sarong.

Danny shrugged, leaning in the doorway. "It's my room. So... deal with it." The bare expanse of Steve's chest gave Danny the opportunity to see more of the damage done by Pod!Steve, and his eyes narrowed slightly before returning to focus on Steve's face.

"You calling in a favor from some of your army buddies?" he asked casually.

"It's the Navy, Danno," replied Steve with his usual exasperation and yesterday when Danny tried cracking an army joke Pod!Steve had just looked at him blankly. So Danny can’t help that his heart now skipped a beat with relief (or something) because Steve was really okay and was really Steve, and things were falling back into place. Something of his feelings must have shown on his face because Steve said "Danno," again, lower this time. There was an expression on his face that Danny had only ever seen flashes of, and that he didn’t even want to try to describe. It seemed possible, suddenly, that Steve had a secret Danny hobby of his own. The SEAL began to move towards him in a fashion that could only be described as prowling. At that moment the towel lost its battle with gravity, and only Steve's catlike reflexes saves him from recreating the Full Monty in Danny's bedroom.

"Let me get you some pants," said Danny, injecting what he hoped was a normal amount of humor in his voice. He was torn between disappointment and relief, not to mention the dizzying realization that his slight man-crush on Steve had become a full on love affair. Or very well could be, as it seemed to be reciprocated. And what about that whole pod person problem? Maybe that could use a little attention, too.

"The cavalry's coming," said Steve, now in pants but still shirtless. "They want us to sit tight while they confront the impostor at the office."

"Yeah, I see the logic," replied Danny, "and I appreciate the promise of backup. But there's no way I'm leaving Chin and Kono to deal with Pod!You alone."

"And you think I would? Just get me a damn shirt. And some shoes!"

"Bossy, bossy," muttered Danny as he dug through a pile near the door. It was astonishing, and maybe a little telling, how much of Steve's clothing he had at his place.

"And what the hell is this pod business you keep talking about?"

"Are you joking? You have got to be joking. There is an exact double of you running around the island, and yet ask why I'm talking about pod people? It boggles the mind. Also, don't put that shirt on yet."

"Why not? And still, why pod people? Why not identical twins?"

"Identical twins? That's... possible,” allowed Danny. “Do you actually have a twin? Now turn around, I need to mark you"

"What the hell you mean, mark me? Is that a sharpie? And no to the twins. Come to think of it, no to the marking."

"Steve," said Danny, hands held out in what would be a reassuring manner provided that one of them did not hold a permanent marker, "we are about to go engage in a face-off with your doppelganger, and I, for one, would like to make clear just which one of you is you. In case the fighting gets a little topless, and don't act like it's not possible. Probable, even. So turn around and let me draw you a one-of-a-kind, Danny Williams tramp stamp ID. Thank you!" he said as Steve capitulated and presented his bare back.

"I'll just... draw a sun or something," promised Danny, momentarily mesmerized by the expanse of warm, tanned skin. After a brief pause he very obviously began writing, not drawing, something across Steve's back.

"What the hell are you putting back there?"

"Nothing to worry about, princess, I'm done. Get your shirt on and let's go."

*~*~*

Within moments of entering the office, Steve and Pod!Steve were locked in hand-to-hand combat. Chin and Kono stared on wide-eyed (it turns out that Pod!Steve had merely returned to the office in a taxi, and immediately started digging through old files again—weird behavior but nothing that had them running for the hills) as tattered pieces of shirt began to fly around the room, while Danny made a metal note to plan a trip to Vegas. With this newfound ability for accurate predictions, he figured that he would be able to play a few rounds of roulette, retire from the police force and no longer have to deal with this kind of crazy shit.

Danny was watching the action carefully, tracking his Steve easily without even needing to use the extra markings on his back (both men were in similar-looking slacks, and the pod person had not bothered to continue his violent strip tease, sadly). While he trusted that his Steve could hold his own against Pod!Steve, he had pulled his gun out just in case. The sounds of windows breaking and doors crashing in had Danny wincing (Great, help had arrived. God willing, help brought along some repairmen as backup) and the two Steves slowly stopped fighting as they were surrounded by a half dozen armed SEALS.

“Damn it, McGarrett,” said one of them as his gaze switched back and forth between the two men, both shirtless and beaten by this point. “This is why I told you to stand down. Which one of you should I be yelling at right now?”

“Me,” said one.

“I’m Steve McGarrett,” said the other.

“Hell,” said the team leader, “and also, goddamn.”

“The one on the left is Steve,” said Danny. “The one on the right is a pod person.”

“No, Danny, you’ve got it backwards! I’m Steve,” said the one on the right.

“Uh huh, right. Prove it. You know what, no, don’t prove it actually. Don’t even worry about it. I got it covered, and how do you like my plan now?”

This last comment was directed to the other Steve, who shook his head with a smirk.

“You are going to be insufferable after this, aren’t you?”

“You know it, babe. Now turn around and show everyone why I’m brilliant.”

*~*~*

Later, much later, after some amount of kowtowing with the SEALS to avoid a court marshal and filling out the paperwork needed to get the office back in shape (Danny can now fill out requisition forms for windows in his sleep) the whole team ended up back at Danny’s place for decompression and entirely too many beers. Also, Steve finally got the chance to scope out the writing on his back. Even backwards in a mirror, and slightly smeared by the exertions of the day, it clearly said: "If found, return to Danny Williams."

Steve didn’t disagree with the sentiment at all—there was no one he trusted at his back like he did Danny (although probably not with a marker again), but a little revenge never hurt anyone, right? After all, Danny had basically staked his claim on Steve in front of a roomful of his old Navy buddies as well as their current co-workers. He couldn’t let that go unpunished, and began supplying the Jersey native with drink after drink. An excellent plan, except that Danny began to get a one track mind in regards to who or what Pod!Steve had been.

"Sure, you keep telling me it's not pod people, but what the hell is it, then, huh, Steven? Some shitty version of you comes waltzing in the office and I’m supposed to just forget about it and not worry about plants taking me over while I sleep?"

"It's classified, is what it is, Danno, and I don't know more than that anyway. Have another beer."

"Oh, you don't know? You telling me there's something Super Steve doesn't know? Babe, I don't care if that dude was an undercover KGB agent, or some kind of superspy clone gone rogue. Just please, please tell me I don’t have to worry about pod people in the pineapple patch. I’m looking for some reassurance here."

"Danny, I promise, there is no such thing as pod people," said Steve as sincerely as he could at 12:30 in the morning when he has also been ingesting copious amounts of alcohol. “Trust me.”

"Okay then," replied Danny, because he did. And if his letting go of the subject had something to do with the way Steve's left nostril had flared slightly when Danny said “clone,” well, neither of them would ever tell. As a further sign of trust, Danny fell asleep sprawled out on the couch shortly thereafter, leaving himself open for a little marker revenge.

First though, Steve had to play host and see Chin and Kono out. He himself had already been invited to crash at Danny's apartment, something he wouldn't admit that he was grateful for. Spending a couple of days tied to a toilet did not make for fond memories, and he wasn’t exactly eager to get back to his house.

"I'm really sorry, boss," blurted Kono unexpectedly as she stood in the doorway. "We should have gotten you out of there sooner."

"What are you talking about?" Steve tried to reassure the pretty girl. "Two days is pretty impressive for saying I wasn't technically missing."

"What she means is, if we had listened to Danny, we could have rescued you sooner," said Chin. Both had been rather subdued all evening, now that he thought about it.

"I still don't get it," said Steve. "You're telling me Danny knew early on that I wasn't me?" This didn't really come as that big of a surprise to Steve. After that first day on the job, his double had come back and "pressured" Steve for details on how to convince Danny he was on the up and up. "How soon do you think he knew?"

"You should probably ask Danny that," said Kono, "but we had barely shown up at work on Monday when he started in on how something was wrong with you."

"That early," said Steve, amazed. "I wonder how he knew.”

"Like I said, talk to Danny. When he wakes up, of course."

Steve closed the door and locked up before moving back into the den. Danny was still sprawled out on the couch, shoes off, tie gone. Steve was grateful, of course, for Danny’s timely rescue, but these days it seemed he was more and more grateful for his partner, period. He was not insensate to the connection they held, nor was he planning on ignoring what had happened earlier that day in Danny’s bedroom. Steve pulled the sharpie out of his pocket where he had hidden it earlier, and moved towards his partner.

"I do still owe you one," he said softly. "I guess I actually owe you a couple."

He popped a couple of buttons open on Danny's shirt, trying not to feel too much like a molester as he pulled back the cloth to reveal the skin underneath. Refusing to think too much about what he was doing or the feel of his partner’s chest, solid and warm under his hand, he began to write.

*~*~*

The next morning, after waking up early and uncomfortable on the couch, Danny would grab a quick shower to help wake himself up and find the words "Property of Steve McGarrett" written on his chest, directly over his heart.

He would then go into his own bedroom, where Steve was still sleeping, and prove it.

It would take considerably more than 30 seconds.


End file.
